A newlywed couple is lying in bed when the husband suddenly turns to his wife and asks,

“How many men have you slept with?”

His wife remains silent, staring up at the ceiling.

The man, sensing her hesitation, gently reassures her. “Come on, just tell me. It’s fine. I just want to know—how many?”

Still, his wife doesn’t say a word. Her gaze stays locked on the ceiling, completely unresponsive.

Feeling guilty, the husband sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought we could be open with each other.”

Silence.

The man, realizing he’s not going to get an answer, gives up. “It’s okay. Please don’t be upset.”

Wanting to make amends, he leans in, wrapping his arms around her and planting soft kisses on her skin. He whispers sweet nothings, trying to comfort her.

As he does, his wife suddenly snaps out of her trance, shifts her gaze to him, and with an exasperated look, says,

“Damn it! You made me lose count!”

A Widow’s Unexpected Reason

“If I die, promise me you won’t get married again,” a wife says to her husband.

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” he replies, touched. “You want to be my one and only?”

She shakes her head.

“No, it’s not that… I just don’t want two people mourning me at the same time.”