Almost seventy-five years ago, George Orwell’s iconic novel 1984 introduced the world to the chilling concept of “Big Brother,” the omnipresent authority figure who, as the famous line goes, “is always watching you.” Since then, the phrase has become synonymous with totalitarian control. But for the main character of today’s story, shared by Reddit user u/BigBroSituation, being “Big Brother” has nothing to do with government surveillance—it’s about literally being the oldest sibling in a massive family and constantly keeping an eye on his younger brothers and sisters.

Our storyteller is a 22-year-old man, the eldest of ten children. His parents are deeply religious and believe that every child is a gift from God. That belief has shaped their family planning—or rather, their lack of it. In fact, the family could have been even larger if his mother hadn’t suffered several miscarriages over the years. While his parents earn a decent living, the sheer size of the family has always made it hard to provide for everyone. The children had to share bedrooms, had little privacy, and often went without certain things.

From the time he was old enough to help, the responsibility of babysitting his nine younger siblings fell squarely on his shoulders. Being only two years older than the second-oldest child didn’t matter—he was expected to step in as a constant caregiver. And while he sympathized with his parents’ struggles, he knew that their never-ending cycle of having more kids had robbed him of his own childhood.

By the time he turned eighteen, he’d had enough. Determined to gain his freedom and avoid being dragged into more unpaid childcare, he moved out and rented an apartment about an hour away from his parents’ home. The distance was just enough to make constant babysitting requests inconvenient. For the first time in years, he could focus on his own life.

But his absence only shifted the problem. Almost immediately, his parents began leaning on his younger sister to take over babysitting duties. Then, when she burned out, the responsibility passed to the third-oldest sibling. Before long, both of them reached out to him, begging for a way out. Understanding exactly how exhausting and stifling the situation could be, he welcomed them into his home.

Word got around quickly among the other teenage siblings. He even hinted—only half-jokingly—that they could use his place as an escape route if they needed it. This, unsurprisingly, infuriated his parents. They accused him of “turning his back on the family” and undermining their authority. From his perspective, though, he wasn’t abandoning anyone—he was simply setting boundaries and showing his siblings that they had choices.

Feeling frustrated and needing validation, he took his story to Reddit. In the comments, many users agreed that his parents were being unfair. They pointed out that choosing to have so many children was entirely his parents’ decision, not his. The responsibility for raising them should fall on the people who brought them into the world—not on an older sibling who never asked to be a third parent.

Parenting experts tend to agree with this stance. According to resources like the Super Nanny website, it’s common for parents to rely on older kids to help with younger ones, but the line between “helping” and “parenting” can easily be crossed. When older siblings are tasked with raising their brothers and sisters day in and day out, it can create unhealthy family dynamics and long-term resentment.

The Siblings Relationship Lab echoes this sentiment, stating that older siblings should be just that—siblings. While it’s fine for them to provide occasional oversight, they should never be used as stand-ins for mom and dad. If younger children are getting more direct care from their older siblings than from their parents, that’s a red flag.

In this case, commenters overwhelmingly felt that the OP had been put in an unfair position for years and was entirely justified in seeking independence. They also commended him for offering his siblings a safe place to land when they needed relief. Many saw it as an act of compassion rather than betrayal, noting that sometimes “family loyalty” is weaponized to guilt people into sacrificing their own well-being.

For the O