Yesterday, while walking along the beach, I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks. A woman, probably in her 70s, confidently strutted along the shore in a bright, form-fitting swimsuit, radiating joy and self-assurance. My initial reaction was one of surprise. Isn’t she too old to be wearing that? Shouldn’t women at her age choose more modest swimwear? As I thought about it more, I realized these thoughts were a reflection of society’s deeply ingrained, but problematic, expectations of how women should dress as they grow older.

The Unspoken Rules of Age and Modesty

Society tends to impose unspoken rules about how women should behave and dress as they age. After a certain point, women are expected to fade into the background, don conservative clothing, and adopt behaviors deemed “dignified.” These rules are rarely explicit but are reinforced through subtle cues, media portrayals, and even comments from friends and family.

• Societal Expectations: In a culture that glorifies youth, older women often get the message that they should cover up. Bright colors, bold patterns, and form-fitting clothes are seen as inappropriate after a certain age. A woman in her 70s wearing a bikini is viewed as rebellious, merely because she’s stepping outside these societal boundaries.
• Internalized Ageism: Many women begin to internalize these expectations over time, feeling guilt or shame for wanting to express themselves through fashion. This can lead to a restricted sense of self-expression, as women believe they must conform to outdated norms of “age-appropriate” attire, which ultimately fosters negative body image.

Confidence Knows No Age Limits

Seeing someone unapologetically break these norms can feel revolutionary. The woman on the beach wore her swimsuit with such confidence that it was impossible not to admire her. She clearly felt comfortable in her own skin, and this is something that should be celebrated, not criticized. Confidence should be ageless. If wearing a vibrant swimsuit at 72 makes someone feel good, why should anyone else care?

• Body Positivity Beyond Youth: The body positivity movement has done wonders for promoting self-love and acceptance, but it often centers around younger people. Older women deserve to be part of this movement too. Why shouldn’t they wear what they want and embrace their bodies as they are?
• Redefining ‘Appropriate’: The term “age-appropriate” is rooted in outdated views of femininity and beauty. The notion that women should dress more conservatively as they age reflects a mindset that limits personal freedom. Clothing should be an expression of identity, and each woman should define what feels appropriate for herself.

Breaking Free From Double Standards

Let’s face it—men don’t face the same level of scrutiny as they age. A man in his 70s wearing swim trunks at the beach isn’t questioned. Yet women are expected to follow a much narrower set of guidelines about what’s acceptable. The double standard is undeniable.

• Gendered Expectations: Women are held to beauty standards that men rarely have to contend with. Men are often allowed to age with grace, continuing to wear what they please without a second glance from others. When was the last time you heard someone criticize an older man for what he’s wearing at the beach?
• Challenging Norms: The woman I saw on the beach was doing more than just enjoying the sun; she was pushing back against a culture that often dictates how women should dress, look, and behave as they grow older. By wearing what made her happy, she was reclaiming her right to self-expression.

Age Is Just a Number: Embrace Life at Every Stage

What we wear shouldn’t be dictated by our age but by our comfort, confidence, and desire to live life fully. As women age, they accumulate wisdom, resilience, and life experience. Why shouldn’t their clothing reflect the vitality they feel inside?

• Living Without Apology: Instead of hiding wrinkles, stretch marks, or curves, women of all ages can choose to embrace their bodies as they are. Clothing should be a celebration of life, not a constraint. After all, a swimsuit is designed for enjoying the beach or pool—why shouldn’t women of all ages feel free to wear one?
• Reclaiming Freedom: As women grow older, they often reach a stage in life where they feel free from societal expectations. This is one of the gifts of aging—women can reclaim their freedom and wear whatever they love, free from the need to please others or seek approval.

Redefining Modesty: Dressing for Ourselves

Modesty is a personal concept, and it should be defined by the individual, not society. What feels modest to one person might not to another, and that’s okay. The idea that older women should “cover up” stems more from societal discomfort with aging than any genuine concern for modesty.

• Empowering Choices: Modesty can mean different things to different people. For some, it may involve wearing long sleeves or high necklines. For others, it could mean wearing what makes them feel happy and comfortable, regardless of what others think. Ultimately, it’s about dressing for oneself, not for others.
• Clothing as Empowerment: A swimsuit can be a powerful statement, particularly for older women. Wearing one is a way of saying, “I’m here, I matter, and I deserve to enjoy my body.” Let’s empower women to make clothing choices based on what feels authentic to them.

Shifting Perspectives: Celebrate, Don’t Judge

The next time you see an older woman wearing a swimsuit, pause before passing judgment. Think about the strength and confidence it takes to defy societal norms and enjoy oneself freely. Instead of criticizing, let’s celebrate her joy, her freedom, and her ability to live life without apology.

• Celebrating Diversity: The beauty industry is slowly starting to embrace diversity in age, but this shift needs to be reflected in how we view everyday women too. All bodies deserve to be celebrated, no matter their age.
• Encouraging Respect: Rather than questioning whether someone is dressed “appropriately” for their age, let’s encourage respect and allow everyone to live their truth without fear of judgment.

Conclusion: Confidence and Modesty at Any Age

Seeing an older woman confidently wearing a swimsuit at the beach should never be surprising or controversial. It should be celebrated. Women have the right to age on their own terms, wear what they choose, and live free from the judgment of others. Modesty, confidence, and beauty are personal—every woman deserves the freedom to define these for herself.