Every bride dreams of a perfect wedding day. From the dress to the venue, there are plenty of things you can control to make that day special. But no matter how much planning you do, you can’t guarantee everything will go smoothly. One bride thought she had the ultimate plan to ensure her wedding went off without a hitch—but she quickly learned not everyone agreed with her approach.
The Bride’s Dilemma: Too Many Rules?
A bride-to-be took to Reddit, specifically the popular subreddit “Am I The Asshole” (AITAH), to ask if she was being unreasonable about the rules she and her fiancé sent to their wedding guests. She was clearly seeking validation after many of her guests started canceling their RSVPs following the release of her strict guidelines.
Before diving into the details, she made a point to clarify that her fiancé was equally on board with the rules—they weren’t just her idea. The two of them had agreed on every single guideline and were confident this would ensure their special day was perfect.
No Phones Allowed—Even During Dinner?
The couple’s first rule was for an “unplugged ceremony,” meaning no phones would be allowed during the wedding or even during dinner. While many guests understood not using phones during the ceremony, the idea of banning phones at dinner raised eyebrows. Some guests felt the rule was excessive, especially those leaving children at home. They argued they needed to check on their kids, but the bride firmly held her ground, insisting that making exceptions for a few would mean doing so for everyone. She bluntly stated, “Checking with your kids is not an emergency. If something serious happens, you’ll know.”
A Strict Dress Code with No Exceptions
Another contentious rule was the dress code. Guests were told they must wear black, with women required to wear dresses and men expected to wear tuxedos. No exceptions were allowed, even when family members expressed discomfort. One of the bride’s aunts, who had lost her husband and finally moved away from wearing black as she healed from her grief, asked to wear something more colorful but was denied. The bride’s future sister-in-law, who has body dysmorphia and feels more comfortable wearing pants, was also refused any flexibility.
Bridesmaids Under Pressure to Maintain Their Weight
The rules didn’t stop there. The bridesmaids, whose dresses had been ordered months in advance, were told to maintain their weight for the wedding day. Whether they needed to gain or lose weight, the expectation was clear—fit into the dress, no matter what. This demand caused frustration among the bridal party, leading to threats of dropping out altogether.
Tensions Mount
As you might imagine, these rules didn’t sit well with everyone. The bride’s mother was furious, telling her that the wedding was doomed from the start due to the unrealistic guidelines. The bridesmaids were angry, guests were canceling last minute, and the pressure was mounting.
One particular issue arose with the maid of honor’s daughter, who was supposed to be the flower girl. The bride asked that the little girl be left at a hotel with a babysitter for the ceremony, but the maid of honor refused. Instead, she decided to leave her daughter with her mother, as the venue was a four-hour drive away.
The Internet’s Verdict: Unreasonable?
Despite the bride’s efforts to explain her side, many people on Reddit were quick to point out that while it’s her wedding, the guests have the right to opt out if they don’t agree with the rules. Weddings are, of course, special days for the couple, but imposing such rigid guidelines on attendees—without any room for personal comfort or consideration—felt unreasonable to most. The overwhelming consensus on Reddit was that the bride and groom were, in fact, being the unreasonable ones.
Ultimately, while it’s important for couples to have the wedding they envision, it’s equally important to remember that guests are there to celebrate, not conform to extreme demands. This bride learned the hard way that sometimes, too many rules can lead to an empty guest list.
